On February 1 two inexperienced and naïve British travelers are setting out on an epic journey across asia, this is their story...

Sunday, August 20, 2006

In my place

Hi,

To sum up what we've been doing over the last week or so, I'm not sure how long it's been as all the days have sort of become one long day on the beach, I've come up with a formula or for the more domestic amoung you a cake reciepe:

  • Take two skinny lazy gits from england
  • Toss them out of bed and into the shower at about 11 each morning
  • Put them on a bus to the beach, or if they are staying in a beach hut just chuck them out the door
  • Stuff them with rice or noodles and a fruit shake or ice coffee
  • Bake them in the midday sun until; for Garlen a nice golden brown, for damian a painful shade of red
  • give them more food followed by an afternoon 'power nap'
  • then more food and maybe a light splattering of booze, preferably a sandcastle bucket filled with whisky, red bull and coke until they can barley walk but not too much as they will probably need to eat a bannana pancake on the way back to the room
  • put them to bed and let them wake up with someone elses flip flops on

We have done other stuff as well though; we went to the beach where they filmed the beach and I watched Galren run about like a headless chicken doing random stuff from the film like laying face down in the sand (?). We went cliff diving, Garlen did all three jumps including a 20m cliff that I barley had the guts to look over. I did do the 10m jump though, but it went slightly wrong and I landed face first in the water. I felt like someone had punched me in the face, slapped me across the chest and kicked me between the legs, apparntley that was my b'day present from Garlen, cheers mate.

We also stayed in the same hotel and same room they used in the beach, it sort of seems this is turning into a beach sight seeing tour, but in a way I have to thank the beach because if Garlen hadn't read it he wouldn't have been inspired to go travelling and invited me along, so thank you Alex Garland. I'm going to leave you now because we're off to another beach called Chawang (so close eh mate)

Folkestone I hope your ready for my return, you've only got a couple of weeks to get the carnival organised, so choppy chop. If your going to have a celeb welcome me home could you get either Paul Daniels and the Lovely Debbie Maghee or Chris Akabosey just because he's such a cheerful chap.

Alwight

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Wood Laos















1.Vang Vieng how I love you.
2.Garlen step away from the Tuk Tuk.
3. Just before we almost died.

I like to ride my bicycle












1.We are just sooooooo macho. Hello Kitty bikes around the capital of Laos.
2.Temple Temple Temple.
3.We're a happy bunch, just spent the day going down a river on a car inner tube stopping at as many bars as possible along the way.

Yellow Submarine












1.Damian son at a temple or a stupa, I don't know which they all seem the same to me.
2.Vest boy being fat with his double filet o' fish (I say filet you say filay)
3.A cheeky Buddha that can't be bothered to stand up in the presence of two gods, bad buddha, to your room

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

what dyou get if piss off a dwarf holding dynamite?

we're in bangkok. just dossing about. yesterday we went to the sex district of patpong to watch naked women (debatable) fire ping pong balls from thier love making department. its amazing what they can do down thier: smoke cigarettes, blow into a whistle, blow out birthday cakes, burst balloons using pellets and straws, etc...

tomoz we begin our beach bum tour of thailand that should take in about 6 beaches and last us a month. then dames going back home. and im heading onwards to malaysia, singapore amd indonesia. we're both looking forward to home now.

also, today i had a DOUBLE fillet-o-fish. we took a pic and i will make sure we put it on blogger next time - dame has my camera and hes currently in our room reading 'the beach' - im too lazy to walk up one flight of steps. hope everyone is coping ok through the british heatwave and preparing well for the festivals. see everybody soon, garlen xox

ps. finally got round to catching up on some of the old comments. welcome to blogger andy r.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

A very brief update on what we've been up to:

  • Went to a Thai boxing fight felt slightly more manly for it, but not that much
  • jungle treked, rode elephants, went white water rafting, slept in a hill tribe village and did bamboo rafting. It was like being in the beavers, although all we seemed to do in the beavers was bake cakes and meet police dogs.
  • Went to a night market and ate crickets I think.
  • Got on a really slow boat to Laos where Garlen won money from me and another guy at Poker and big 2 the git.
  • Went to a night market and ate for really cheap, but not crickets this time.
  • Got incredibly drunk and watched the wedding crashers with a bunch of Americans who insisted on finishing every line in the film aaaarrrgggghhh
  • Got incredibly drunk again. I don't know how but we always manage to order really camp looking drinks. We were with a few girls who were all drinking beer Lao while we sipped on our pink ladies.
  • Went white water Kayaking and almost drowned, we got tipped in twice. The first time Garlen abandoned ship leaving me trying to swim around barely holding on to this boat thing. The second time I dragged my legs across a load of under water boulders and also lost my oar.
  • Got incredibly drunk floating down a river on car innertubes and being pulled into all the river side bars where we jumped off big swings, zip lines and dodgy looking wooden diving board things.
  • That's it.

I'm a tiger



1.Hello
2.Bridge over (or is it on) the River Kwai

...





1. Our floating room on the banks of the river Kwai... how romantic

2.I gave the monkey all my water and some fruit and then he decided to scratch me and swing on my hair... ungrateful monkey

3.A Thai boxing fight... go violence

It has been soooo long.





1.ELLLEEEPPPPHHHHANNNNTTTT

2. I don't know what Garlen is doing but I'm abit worried now. Us on a jungle trek

3.The slow... slow boat to Laos.