In my place

Hi,

To sum up what we've been doing over the last week or so, I'm not sure how long it's been as all the days have sort of become one long day on the beach, I've come up with a formula or for the more domestic amoung you a cake reciepe:

• Take two skinny lazy gits from england
• Toss them out of bed and into the shower at about 11 each morning
• Put them on a bus to the beach, or if they are staying in a beach hut just chuck them out the door
• Stuff them with rice or noodles and a fruit shake or ice coffee
• Bake them in the midday sun until; for Garlen a nice golden brown, for damian a painful shade of red
• give them more food followed by an afternoon 'power nap'
• then more food and maybe a light splattering of booze, preferably a sandcastle bucket filled with whisky, red bull and coke until they can barley walk but not too much as they will probably need to eat a bannana pancake on the way back to the room
• put them to bed and let them wake up with someone elses flip flops on

We have done other stuff as well though; we went to the beach where they filmed the beach and I watched Galren run about like a headless chicken doing random stuff from the film like laying face down in the sand (?). We went cliff diving, Garlen did all three jumps including a 20m cliff that I barley had the guts to look over. I did do the 10m jump though, but it went slightly wrong and I landed face first in the water. I felt like someone had punched me in the face, slapped me across the chest and kicked me between the legs, apparntley that was my b'day present from Garlen, cheers mate.

We also stayed in the same hotel and same room they used in the beach, it sort of seems this is turning into a beach sight seeing tour, but in a way I have to thank the beach because if Garlen hadn't read it he wouldn't have been inspired to go travelling and invited me along, so thank you Alex Garland. I'm going to leave you now because we're off to another beach called Chawang (so close eh mate)

Folkestone I hope your ready for my return, you've only got a couple of weeks to get the carnival organised, so choppy chop. If your going to have a celeb welcome me home could you get either Paul Daniels and the Lovely Debbie Maghee or Chris Akabosey just because he's such a cheerful chap.

Alwight