go team asia

the last hurrah in brunie

2006-10-30T11:08:00.000Z

ive skipped all the bali pics i know.

but heres one i took yesterday and one the waitress took just an hour ago. my last meal on asian soil. im having an indian. a perfect circle.

pets win prizes

2006-10-25T13:53:00.000+01:00

left card reader back in the room. so no pics. anyway, home in 7 days so u can see em then.

so... i think ive figured out why so many people (uj, hayley and i, at least) thought it was 'in the skies'. its cos - if i remember i correctly - when that lyric was sang the visual was of a transformer turning into a bird and flying away. thus 'in the skies'.

anyway. tonight will be my 8th night on bali. have been; surfing like an chinaman, drinking like an englishman, losing at chess, winning at pool, haggling for gifts, seeing wicked temples, seeing boring traditional dance shows, finding nemo whilst scuba diving, pretending to be claude makalele whilst playing footie on the beach, watching american football on tv cos i didnt want to leave the shade, sitting through crap movies cos the guy im travelling with is into cars (ie. fast and the furious: tokyo drift - jesus), playing playstation with 7 year old indonesian kids, etc...

would write in more detail but it seems pointless now im coming home on wednesday.

oh, i thought of a interesting game. for everyone who leaves a comment for this update i promise to bring them back a present. it may be small and crappy but at least you can say it came from the other side of the world.

right, bye. x

5 bullits or 6?

2006-10-20T15:15:00.000+01:00

need a piss. heres the skinny:

1) took 28 hr ferry. was awwwwwwwfuulllllllll. slept on THE FLOOR.
2) stayed one night in jakarta. was awwwwwwwfuulllllllll. might as well have slept on THE FLOOR.
3) stayed in yogyakarta. bought presents for loved ones. you have to ask urself one question. are u lucky enuff punk, are ya?
4) saw volcanoe called bromo. was wicked.
5) am in bali. today went scuba diving! was wicked aswell.

tomoz i go surfing. im gonna be a 'surf dude with attitude, kinda groovy'.

have booked my ticket home!!!!!!!!!! see everybody on the 1st november!!!

garlen xox

ps/6?) i also have arranged to stop over for 3 nights in brunei. random, i know!!!

leaving malaysia, time in singapore, and entering indonesia

2006-10-10T13:29:00.000+01:00

hello there.

after a wicked time meeting loads of people and bedbugs in KL i went to the historical malaysian town of malaka. there i didnt speak to anyone apart this one taiwanese guy - who i was rooming with - who kept wanting me to reassure him he didnt have AIDS after all the prozzies he slept with in thailand. he was so thrilled by this 99% good news that he gave me his compass after i told him i was intending to buy one. i was well chuffed.

in malaka i think i must have smashed the record for the number of museums anyone has visited in 48 hrs. i reckon about 10. including a stamp museum which i sneaked into and then proceeded to play the dumb tourist when he asked for my ticket, i scurried off sharphish.

next stop was singapore where i met loads of people again. went to parks, museums, the beach, an open top bus tour, a fountain show, the famous raffles hotel (where the singapore sling cocktail was invented - they wouldnt let me into the bar though cause apparantly flips flops, shorts, vest and a baseball cap isnt part of there 'dress code'), and i even went into a borders where i read all there football magazines.

just a few hours ago i arrived in my 11th and final country. i have exactly 22 days before i plan to return home on the 1st november - will book ticket next week. right, gonna eat and hopefully catch more transformers before my 28 hr boat ride to jakarta tomoz. would have been the same price to take the plane but wheres the fun in that?

love u all, garlen xox

robots in disguise (did anybody else think it was 'robots in the skies')?

2006-10-10T12:48:00.000+01:00

1. eating like when dame and i first started our journey in india. we're in singapore's 'little india' district. those filthy hands are mine. the guy next to me is a german porn star from the 70s.
2. can u spot me in the wood?
3. taking a pic of myself in front of a mirror. in a STAMP MUSUEM.
4. 10,873 km behind me lies colindale, and u guys!
5. after just a 45 minte ferry ride from singapore to indonesia i check into my room, switch on the telly, and watch transformers for the next halfhour!

kuala (bear) (oomper) lumpur

2006-10-01T15:03:00.000+01:00

1. hitchiking for the first time in my life. dont worry, ive not run out of money yet, just thought it would be fun.
2. five minutes after that first pic was taken the lengend that is 'jimmy' gave anton and myself a free ride to KL. i honestly didnt believe anyone would pick us up! not only did he refuse any payment from us he even offered us some spare change for a bus into the town center.
3. me in a shopping center (after a couple of cans of carlsberg special brew) with bruce lee style glasses. not really significant to my journey - just thought it was funny!
4. outside the petronas towers, the 2nd tallest building in the world. 266 times taller than myself, apparantly.
5. noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

cryptic pub quiz

2006-09-24T01:50:00.000+01:00

what dyou get if you cross a small, furry, australian bear with one of willy wonker's little factory helpers?

clue: its the place im going next.

malaysia pics 2

2006-09-24T01:28:00.000+01:00

1. attempting to cross a dry riverbank in the jungle, cue indy jones music.
2. eating maggi noodles from the cut-off bottom of a water bottle. jungle food - yum.
3. a komodo dragon decides to block my pathway and play chicken with me. he won, i ran away after i snapped the monster.
4. how dyou get pikachu onto a bus? you poke-him-on. copyright of a certain D.Brett.

malaysia pics

2006-09-24T01:05:00.000+01:00

1. a statue of the british colonial guy who took over the malaysian island of panang (his name i forget - there's a task for you dame) and me.
2. after walking for hours to the good viewpoint it turns out not to be a good viewpoint. thank you clouds.
3. drinking tea at a tea plantation. the sceneary behind is the massive tea field.
4. canopy walking in the jungle 25 meters high. pah, i could jump that.

malaysia so far

2006-09-18T15:57:00.000+01:00

hello - crappy comp wont let me put pics up. so its just my boring writing afraid.

since last blog the fellas and i went crazy golfing (luke won and thought he was suddenly jesus), fishing (sean caught the most, including some garbage and a small bush), and went to the full moon party which luke, unsprisingly, slept mostly through having drank too much, again.

they caught a plane to oz next day whilst i slept on the bus to malaysia. saw another british colonial town (if i ve learnt anything from my travels is that the british really did own alot of the world in the 'olden days') called georgetown named after king george the (insert appropiate number if you know, i forget, 5th i think, possible FACTOID for you dame). then went to the cameron highlands and did some trekking which was ace as i met alot of friendly people there. after a few days went to tamen negara which is amazing. its malaysia's national park. proper jungle. hiked for 6 hours and slept in the jungle for 2 nights. the massive rats are very freindly. they dont ask b4 sharing your food. but then we dont warn them b4 smaking them with a broom handle. saw some massive birds the size of dinosaurs aswell. have just left there and currently waiting for the train to the perenthian islands. more beaches.

bye now, i'll try and put some pics up soon. xox

im the filling

2006-09-04T15:30:00.000+01:00

okey dokey. my first proper blog without dame. im so jealous of him going back home. jumpers, marmite, bangers and mash etc...

on the day dame left me i really didnt know what to do with myself. so i slept, pretty much the whole day and night. i was quite sad... : (

the next day i moved to another beach where there was a party that night. i really had to force myself to go as i didnt wanna be like the loser turning up to a party on my own. billy nomates. however, meeting people was easier than i thought. after a few drinks, 'hellos', and 'how are you's?' everybody becomes your friend. a few days after i went to the thailands 2nd most famous party - the half moon party - and again had a great time.

then yesterday i backtracked on myself to ko samui and met up with my old buddies from london! we had a good catch up (they mainly commented on how dark i was, i mainly commented on how fat they become) and we celebrated by going to a 'all u can eat' barbecue meat feast, i then won 1000 baht off 'em playing poker - suckers. today we lazed around the beach doing nothing, though i was glued to the NME that they had bought over from england. why hasnt anyone murdered those kasabian lot yet?

at this very moment in time the fellas have gone to watch thai boxing (dame and i have seen it already). they'll gimme a call when its over and then they wanna go for more drinks. at this rate i'll have no money left, i'll just have to make sure we play poker everynight.

garlen xox

ps. good news - i am living rent free as the guys have put me up in thier luxery resort with swimming pool. bad news - i am sandwhiched between sean and dave in 3 in the bed.

the famous couple, single with new friends, back with the old gang

2006-09-04T15:08:00.000+01:00

1. the last pic ever taken of dame and i, just before he got on the local bus to folkstone. i fuckin love u man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. at the half moon party everyone shares their drinks.

3. dinner with old friends. they insisted on going to the expensive bbq buffet place. 750 baht. i could live for 2 days on that. was bloody nice though!

4. drunk with old friends. the naked guy is some fat samoan we found on the streets. sean cant keep his hands away from his samoan nipple.

on my sweeney todd

2006-09-01T14:59:00.000+01:00

hey, just to let everyone know ive been travelling alone for the past week. and im still alive. woo! am very tired now so will write more later.

hope u got home safely dame.

garlen xox

In my place

2006-08-20T06:18:00.000+01:00

Hi,

To sum up what we've been doing over the last week or so, I'm not sure how long it's been as all the days have sort of become one long day on the beach, I've come up with a formula or for the more domestic amoung you a cake reciepe:

Take two skinny lazy gits from england
Toss them out of bed and into the shower at about 11 each morning
Put them on a bus to the beach, or if they are staying in a beach hut just chuck them out the door
Stuff them with rice or noodles and a fruit shake or ice coffee
Bake them in the midday sun until; for Garlen a nice golden brown, for damian a painful shade of red
give them more food followed by an afternoon 'power nap'
then more food and maybe a light splattering of booze, preferably a sandcastle bucket filled with whisky, red bull and coke until they can barley walk but not too much as they will probably need to eat a bannana pancake on the way back to the room
put them to bed and let them wake up with someone elses flip flops on

We have done other stuff as well though; we went to the beach where they filmed the beach and I watched Galren run about like a headless chicken doing random stuff from the film like laying face down in the sand (?). We went cliff diving, Garlen did all three jumps including a 20m cliff that I barley had the guts to look over. I did do the 10m jump though, but it went slightly wrong and I landed face first in the water. I felt like someone had punched me in the face, slapped me across the chest and kicked me between the legs, apparntley that was my b'day present from Garlen, cheers mate.

We also stayed in the same hotel and same room they used in the beach, it sort of seems this is turning into a beach sight seeing tour, but in a way I have to thank the beach because if Garlen hadn't read it he wouldn't have been inspired to go travelling and invited me along, so thank you Alex Garland. I'm going to leave you now because we're off to another beach called Chawang (so close eh mate)

Folkestone I hope your ready for my return, you've only got a couple of weeks to get the carnival organised, so choppy chop. If your going to have a celeb welcome me home could you get either Paul Daniels and the Lovely Debbie Maghee or Chris Akabosey just because he's such a cheerful chap.

Alwight

Wood Laos

2006-08-10T13:58:00.000+01:00

1.Vang Vieng how I love you.
2.Garlen step away from the Tuk Tuk.
3. Just before we almost died.

I like to ride my bicycle

2006-08-10T13:50:00.000+01:00

1.We are just sooooooo macho. Hello Kitty bikes around the capital of Laos.
2.Temple Temple Temple.
3.We're a happy bunch, just spent the day going down a river on a car inner tube stopping at as many bars as possible along the way.

Yellow Submarine

2006-08-10T13:44:00.000+01:00

1.Damian son at a temple or a stupa, I don't know which they all seem the same to me.
2.Vest boy being fat with his double filet o' fish (I say filet you say filay)
3.A cheeky Buddha that can't be bothered to stand up in the presence of two gods, bad buddha, to your room

what dyou get if piss off a dwarf holding dynamite?

2006-08-08T13:39:00.000+01:00

we're in bangkok. just dossing about. yesterday we went to the sex district of patpong to watch naked women (debatable) fire ping pong balls from thier love making department. its amazing what they can do down thier: smoke cigarettes, blow into a whistle, blow out birthday cakes, burst balloons using pellets and straws, etc...

tomoz we begin our beach bum tour of thailand that should take in about 6 beaches and last us a month. then dames going back home. and im heading onwards to malaysia, singapore amd indonesia. we're both looking forward to home now.

also, today i had a DOUBLE fillet-o-fish. we took a pic and i will make sure we put it on blogger next time - dame has my camera and hes currently in our room reading 'the beach' - im too lazy to walk up one flight of steps. hope everyone is coping ok through the british heatwave and preparing well for the festivals. see everybody soon, garlen xox

ps. finally got round to catching up on some of the old comments. welcome to blogger andy r.

A very brief update on what we've been up to:

2006-08-05T07:19:00.000+01:00

Went to a Thai boxing fight felt slightly more manly for it, but not that much
jungle treked, rode elephants, went white water rafting, slept in a hill tribe village and did bamboo rafting. It was like being in the beavers, although all we seemed to do in the beavers was bake cakes and meet police dogs.
Went to a night market and ate crickets I think.
Got on a really slow boat to Laos where Garlen won money from me and another guy at Poker and big 2 the git.
Went to a night market and ate for really cheap, but not crickets this time.
Got incredibly drunk and watched the wedding crashers with a bunch of Americans who insisted on finishing every line in the film aaaarrrgggghhh
Got incredibly drunk again. I don't know how but we always manage to order really camp looking drinks. We were with a few girls who were all drinking beer Lao while we sipped on our pink ladies.
Went white water Kayaking and almost drowned, we got tipped in twice. The first time Garlen abandoned ship leaving me trying to swim around barely holding on to this boat thing. The second time I dragged my legs across a load of under water boulders and also lost my oar.
Got incredibly drunk floating down a river on car innertubes and being pulled into all the river side bars where we jumped off big swings, zip lines and dodgy looking wooden diving board things.
That's it.

I'm a tiger

2006-08-05T07:11:00.000+01:00

1.Hello
2.Bridge over (or is it on) the River Kwai

...

2006-08-05T07:04:00.000+01:00

1. Our floating room on the banks of the river Kwai... how romantic

2.I gave the monkey all my water and some fruit and then he decided to scratch me and swing on my hair... ungrateful monkey

3.A Thai boxing fight... go violence

It has been soooo long.

2006-08-05T06:54:00.000+01:00

1.ELLLEEEPPPPHHHHANNNNTTTT

2. I don't know what Garlen is doing but I'm abit worried now. Us on a jungle trek

3.The slow... slow boat to Laos.

ankgor, what?

2006-07-24T14:33:00.000+01:00

tourists waiting for sunset on cambadia's cloudeist day of the year.

results! results!

2006-07-21T14:13:00.000+01:00

well, its decided: 2 votes to 1. im pretty hot in a vest. thank you to those two random anonymous voters whoever you may be.

up yours dolphin

2006-07-21T14:03:00.000+01:00

the dolpin did not eat my soul. thats just ridiculous. im supposed to be putting up pictures now after orders from mr brett. but now im not. why? because, apparantly, a dolphin ate my soul.

When monkeys attack.

2006-07-21T09:52:00.000+01:00

Hi,

I’m just going to write a quick post this week as it has been so long since we last let you know how things were going. I think Garlen has given up on the web site as he is embarrassed about breaking yet another pair of sun glasses, although I have now lost my first pair, so I can’t take the mickey as much as I would like.

Anyway, in Saigon we; watched France lose to Italy, which was quite funny as we were in a bar full of French people, went to see more Viet Cong tunnels and went to a war museum where they had lots of graphic photos of blown up people and even two conjoined twins in a jar, victims of Agent Orange. We then traveled up the Mekong Delta pretending we were from Apocalypse Now, well I did at least.

Next, it was off to Cambodia, home of the Khmer Rouge, where we continued to depress ourselves by visiting the killing fields. The kindly people of Cambodia had built a massive glass tower and put all the skulls and rags of clothing in it, so we didn’t have to wander around the fields looking for them. Then, ironically, we went to a shooting range and fired an AK47, but it wasn’t that ironic as the people massacred at the killing fields were beaten to death. Oh, on a lighter note we could have fired a rocket launcher at a cow, but they wanted 200 dollars for that and that wasn’t including the cow, so we gave it a miss (excuse the pun). Next, it was off to a School, but this is Cambodia so it wasn’t to see orphans at work, no, it was to see a display on how the K.R had turned the school into a prison/torture chamber, aren’t they sweet.

We then went to see the much over rated Angkor Wat, it’s supposed to be as amazing as the temples in Peru, but we were bored after one sunset and a sunrise. Actually, to be fair they were quite special esp. the one where they filmed Tomb Raider, which was still covered in massive tree roots and the one with all the massive faces carved into it was quite cool as well.

We then got a bus along the worse stretch of road in the world to Thailand and continued to depress ourselves by visiting the bridge over the River Kwai (the greatest pub quiz team in history) and taking a walk along death railway (named because of the amount of people that died building it), we also went to a museum and read facts about how badly the P.O.W were treated… fun, fun, fun. While we were there though we got to stroke tigers and visit a monkey school, which Garlen found funny because he wouldn’t go near the monkeys so our drunk guide insisted every time that they should climb over or I would say attack me. I got scratched by one so I may have Rabies, we did get to meet a talented Monkey called Monkey Jordan that could slam dunk and also read numbers.

Anyway, take care, Damo P.S we ate dog in Vietnam, it wasn’t very nice.

We didn't go to a Siagon disco

2006-07-14T08:35:00.000+01:00

1.Some temple thing.
2.Mekong Delta thing.
3.Halong bay thing.

You weren't there, man.

2006-07-14T08:04:00.000+01:00

1.This is Garlen
2.Near a floating town thing
3.Garlen decided to cut his own hair, I think he may regret it slightly.

4.Me in one of the Viet Cong tunnels searching for Charlie
5.On a mekong delta cruise

Thunder cats Hoooooo Chi Min

2006-07-07T09:59:00.000+01:00

Hi,

To start with I've got some really bad news about Garlen; After losing a bet to me I took possesion of his soul, but not knowing what to do with it I threw it in a dolphin shaped used item recepticle (that's bin in Chinglish). So, unfortunatley the dolphin bin now posseses all of Garlen's personality and I'm left travelling around with a walking carcuss. To be honest though I barley notice the difference, if anything he's actually slightly more fun now; the way he dribbles all the time and his vacant stare can be quite entertaining. But if you do want to visit the dolphin and speak to garlen I can tell you where to find him.

Apart from that we've been having a great time in Vietnam. In Hanoi we went to a bizarre water puppet show (it was so wierd and confusing I couldn't even start to explain it to you) saw a French prison, went on a boat cruise to Halong Bay, It's a bit like Yangshou in China (see my last post) but at sea. We actually went twice, but the first time it got cancelled after we got to the port because of bad weather, so we basically spent 7 hours on a bus. We also went to a Jazz Club in the French Quater of Hanoi (How cool does that sentance sound, well it did until I added these brackets to explain how cool it sounded, now it's a bit long winded, but I felt in neccesary to explain just how cool we are, but now we aren't... because of the brackets. I'll stop now). We also watched England crash out of the World Cup, but it's just too painful to talk about. Oh Oh, we also saw another dead dictator... yay, that takes our total to two. This time it was Ho Chi Min the man who freed Vietnam from French Colonialists and then kicked out the U.S... well I think he died before the end of the war and probably wasn't really in control of the country at that point...more of a figure head, but an impressive C.V non the less. His body was very Orange just like Mao's, but he was sporting an impressive beard, most pointy.

We then headed to a place called Hue where we went on a river cruise and saw a few temples, they were alright, actually we only saw one because we've seen too many. We also took a guided tour of the area around the 17th parrallel, pay attention now class as there will be questions... it was the border between North and South Vietnam during the war. On the tour we also got to go into some tunnels used by the Vietcong and a few destroyed U.S military bases (They didn't even let us out the bus for one of them).
We're now in a place called Hoi An, which is quite relaxing really. It's unusally quiet though, for the last 5 months it's been non stop noise, but to suddenly go somewhere which is quiet is really worrying. Here we've wandered the streets admiring the mould covered french colonial old town and also had two tailor made suits done for a bargin price of 35 quid. Brilliant. Garlen is currently picking up a waistcoat as well.

Anyway we're off to Saigon now to 'go to a saigon disco' (If anyone can name the song that line is from I will truely be impressed)

Take care damo

more hk pics + some pics with my mummy

2006-07-02T08:03:00.000+01:00

two things which i forgot from my hk top 10. meeting dennis, and hanging out with my cuz's mates.

after dame left, mum and i went on a 4 star hotel tour to guilin. not sure the pics are going to be layed out in order number, but u can work it out.

1) ma and i on a guilin cable car. she was well scared and told me off whenever i rocked it. mothers!
2) dennis and i in a siad university reunion, the turnout was low.
3) (r-l) roy, dame, my cuz sonjia, myself, kay, and keiths curly hair. keith wishes now he never skipped photography lessons.
4) our group tour photo, the guy third from the left is millhouse!
5) the audience joining the performers on stage after a show.

hk top 10 presented by jimmy carr most probably

2006-06-29T12:48:00.000+01:00

hey all. just came back from our cancelled boat tour. no footballs on either tonight. so i might as well make use of the free internet here. heres my review of hong kong. ill try and keep it interesting.

HK was really good. probably more so cos all my relatives live there. so dame and i hardly spent anything as all meals and accomodation was taken care off. which was, nice. i learnt all about my family history and met with relatives id never seen before. as there is so much i could ramble about ill just create a list of standout memories, in no particular order, here goes:

1) having a bbq with my aunt, uncle, cousins and thier many friends on the beach front in the pouring rain
2) watching peter 'chopstick legs' crouch score a goal in world footballs premier competition
3) dame and i having our photo taken with mr and mrs. mouse
4) trying to stay awake, then suddenly watching joe cole score goal of the tournament in a karoke booth with my cousin who was alseep most of the game
5) visiting the history and science museums - the 2 best museums we've seen on our travels so far
6) going to ocean park (an aquarium themepark). dolphins can jump well high! pandas are well lazy!
7) expericing living in the infamous chungking mansion on our first 2 nights before my relatives put us up. its just full of gangsters, downbeats and people who belong to mental asylums. no wonder its so cheap.
8) watching 'big' thus taking our tally of tom hanks films watched on our travels to 4 (then i watched that 'thing thing you do' when i was with my mum = 5)
9) meeting my cousins jason and sonny who use to live in england and who i hadnt seen since i was bout 8
10) shopping for vests. dame and i decided we would lay our vest debate to rest by letting you, the audience, decide whether i look cool or not. leave a 'yes, garlen does look cool as fuck' or a 'no, garlen looks like like a dick with no sleeves' in the comments box.

right, thats that. off to shower now. i cant believe how much ive been sweating since we got to vietnam. i almost smell as bed as dame. plus! he wouldnt even let me use his roll on deodrant after i had a shower! he said he didnt want to share my armpit fungus disease! if only those chinese pirate bandits hadnt let him escape so easily.

oi oi hanoi! garl xox

Don't look if you're scared easily!

2006-06-29T12:23:00.000+01:00

1. Garlen trying to catch flies on a cancelled tour we went on.

2.I knew I shouldn't have eaten at that dodgy looking resturant.

3.Chilling on a bamboo boat thingy

Badgers

2006-06-28T11:25:00.000+01:00

Mange tout,

Hope your all okay. We're back together, and we've made it to vietnam, Yay. 5 countries in 5 months, not bad really.

So, since I left Hong Kong I've stayed in 2 places; Guilin, which was'nt really that exciting, it did have quite pretty hills, described by Garlen as nipples, just surging up from nowhere. But, on the train journey I ate what can be only described as the most putrid food the world has ever produced. I thought it was meant to be chicken as there was a massive cartoon chicken dancing on the plastic wrapper, but it tasted more like rotten fishy catfood. The two people in the cabin left to sit in the hall when I opened it and I kept waking during the night with the taste of fish in my mouth or a fishy didget drifting dangerously close to my nose.

The next place I stayed was called Yangshou. It was nice, I was a bit bored at first as I was on my own still, but I hired a bike and cycled around paddy fields, I didn't see any Irish people though, and went on a bamboo raft. But, after a few days I met an English guy staying in my room (he looked like one of the Kings of Leon, complete with a handlebar tash, but sounded like Johny Vegas) and we got drunk with two American girls and ended up at a bathroom party. It all got a bit too much like uni. The next day we all went to a cave where we were shown stalagmites (or were they stalagtites?) that were supposed to look like various things. As we went round the caves the things got more an more obsure and more difficult to recognise (as hard as I tried I couldn't see 'monkeys climbing a tree' or 'the pigs ear') But the cave was great because it had a mud pool and slide and also we had to enter it on a boat.

We got drunk again that night, but I had the excuse that England were playing. And the next day me and my hangover made our way to meet Garlen and go to Vietnam. Haven't done much so far apart from having a near death experience on a motor bike - three people on one bike speeding through the streets of Hanoi just isn't good. And, suprise suprise, we went to a museum, but this one was supposed to be really good according to our guide book. It wasn't, when oh when will we learn.

anyway laterz,
Damo xx

dont panic damo - im back!!!

2006-06-26T11:19:00.000+01:00

hello. at this moment in time i am sitting in the cheapest internet cafe ive found on my travels so far - bout 15 pence an hour. anyway. a few hours ago i arrived in nanning - the town im supposed to meet damian at. i went into the hotel we arranged to meet in and looked through the hotels guest sign in forms, but his wasnt there! oh no! so now im just gonna doss around till he turns up. using my colombo detective skills i have deduced that a) he has chosen to stay at a cheaper place and will look me up tomoz morning, b) i didnt look at the sign in forms properly, or c) hes been kidnapped by chinese pirate bandits who will fatten damo up by feeding him packets of 'hot flavour' monster munch so that ultimately they can chop him into tiny little pieces to feed thier poor starving children and their dogs. of course one of these deducements is ridiculous: b).

so, the past 5 days my mum and i went on a package tour around the towns of guilin, yangshuo and lanzhou. i have been living it up in 4 star hotels, using the hotel pool, playing tennis, eating buffets, getting driven everywhere, having a tour guide explain stuff etc (though that was of no use as i only understood about 5% of what she was saying - my cantonese is really not very good). its been much fun and and a good break from backpacking. funnily though, my mum thought it was boring (she hates history), tiring (she hates walking), and hot (she hates, well, the sun). she especially loathes walking in heat whilst listening to history.

thats been about it. will publish this first befoe writing bout hong kong otherwise i just know the comps gonna crash and i will get angry at the world again. I LOVE U DAMO. resisting chinese pirate bandits will only make them more evil when dissecting your mucle bound body.

all my loving, garlen xox

Couldn't think of a witty title.

2006-06-21T14:22:00.000+01:00

1. The world's smallest toilet
2. Awwwwwww Garlen and Garlot
3. Scary eh!

Taking the mickey

2006-06-21T14:13:00.000+01:00

1 + 2. Us at disney world. I think Minne fancied me, who can blame her.
3. Loadsa Garlen's family after a rainy BBQ - just like being in England. And yes I have taken up piracy.
4.Note the panda being fat in the background. Apparantly they spend over 90% of their life either asleep or eating. Genius.

Hong Kong

2006-06-21T13:54:00.000+01:00

1. Garlen and Sonjia (either it's meant to be sonja or it's a Russian version of the name. They get to pick their own English names in H.K - Brilliant! I'd be called Andy Micheals) his cousin at an ocean themed theme park.
2. Where I am at the moment. Note the lack of anyone in the photo, it's poignant (SP?) reflects the lonliness of solo travelling. Cue tears and violins.
3. Memories, water colour memories, something else la la... (almost got it right this time Garlen, eh)

We're alive... just

2006-06-21T13:34:00.000+01:00

Hi all,

Just a quickie to let you know we're not dead despite the lack of an update. Also, I've got some bad news. Me and Garlen have split up. I know it's terrible, but don't cry it's just for a while! Garlen's mum flew out to Hong Kong, so they're spending a bit of mother son time... awwww and I'm bumming about in a place called Yangzhou (I think) I'll write a longer update on what I've been up to and if Garlen doesn't get a chance a bit on Hong Kong, mainly because I'm V bored, on Friday. For now just pictures.

Damo xxx

macau

2006-06-08T05:46:00.000+01:00

1) me sitting on a big cannon. dame pretending to be a japanese tourist. we've started doing that V sign thing quite a lot now ive noticed 2) 'iceberg! right ahead.' 3) us in a wine musuem (there was free a glass of port - its the only reason we went) .

chan and us larking around in the science museum

2006-06-08T05:30:00.000+01:00

1. damian on the alley of stars with jackie chan's handprint. i had mine photo taken with sammo hungs. much better than chan i think.
2. us in a 3D cinema at the science museum
3. me back in london, sort of
4. dame having fun with green screen

We can read your comments again!

2006-06-08T04:58:00.000+01:00

Hey all,

A few things to update you on: Garlen lost his white sun glasses, so he’s got another pair – some very cool, Elton John circa 75 white ones that’s pair number 5 (Alana probably a good idea he doesn’t start up a sunglasses collection as he’d probably loose ‘em all). We had our first argument (not bad for 4 months) I won’t go into details as it’s hard to remain objective, but it had more to do with a lack of sleep than the Russian flag (I was right though), I smell quite bad as it’s soooo humid and sticky, I wake up every morning feeling like some-ones covered me in prit stick and there was something else, but I can’t remember – aarrrrgggghhh I hate it when that happens, and I bet I remember what it was in the middle of the night just to annoy me further (or is it father). I think I may be losing my memory, I keep forgetting stuff and I’m getting old; almost 24… scary stuff.

So, we’re in Hong Kong. It’s really good here; lots of sky scrappers, shops and fashionable people, but it is really expensive – A mcdonald’s medium meal will set you back 2 pounds, shocking I know! So far, we’ve been to three museums! We went to three in Macau as well, so I don’t think I can take anymore, but Garlen seems to be lapping it up! By the forth one I was just wandering around pressing random buttons to see what would happen. We went to a light show where all the skyscrapers lit up in time to music and we nearly managed to blag our way into an opera. We just walked in – looking a mess in t-shirts and shorts- and just sat down, unfortunately in somebody else’s seat so we got kicked out.

We’re staying at a really dodgy hotel, I think it may actually be a lunatic asylum. One guy has been here four years! You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave (name that song). So, luckily for us some of Garlen’s kindly relatives have offered to put us up for a few days and Garlen’s mum’s boyfriend (I must ask his name because it’s a challenge saying ‘Garlen’s mum’s boyfriend’ everytime – try it) has said we can stay at his place for a while as well.. thank you!

Errrr that’s about it, take care.

just a quickie

2006-06-06T16:20:00.000+01:00

just finished 2 nights in macau. we got to hong kong a few hours ago. i have 6 minutes left of internet time. it is very humid. not sunny. humid. dame sweats like a bitch. i have grease coming out of every pour. an hour ago i bought some face cleanser. dame bought some hair gel. deoderant would have been more appropiate. what else... i have 3 mins left... er... this is the first time we have been able to check our blog since pakistan 3 weeks ago. its been good reading ur comments. especially your one alana. all i hear about since ive been away is you beating people up. will contact my relatives in HK now and see if they will treat me and damo to an expensive dinner, hahahaha. only jokin if your reading this! a bowl of noodles will do (yeah right - i didnt come all this way for a pot noodle - only joking again - i'll stop typing now!).

lots of clay, tall skyscrapers, big lake

2006-06-02T16:35:00.000+01:00

howdy all - quite tired so gonna whizz through this.

in xian we saw terracotta warriors - which was a bit of a let down as both dame and i were expecting somthing fantastic. we did meet a nice canadian guy called brody and a nice israeli girl called tehila - and we had lunch with them, which was... nice. we completed our tom hanks trilogy (after forrest gump and da vinci code) by watching the terminal in our youth hostel. too much hanks. in shanghai we walked alot and saw magnnificant views of the harbour with all the skycrapers in the backdrop - it was like something from a utopian sci-fi film. also watched the first 3 episodes of Lost season 2 back at the youth hostel. its awesome! next place was where we are now, hangzhou. we cycled round its famous lake. tomorrow we leave for guangzhou, then after hong kong. ok, im going to bed now.

garlen.

2006-06-02T16:25:00.000+01:00

1: Us with the most Canadian person we've ever met, Brody, at the terracotta warriors, eh?
(Canadians say ''eh'' a lot apparantly, eh?)
2. My and Garlen (or Garlen and I if your being annoying) with the Shanghi skyline in the distance.
3. Garlen chilaxing or should that be posing at the legendry West Lake.

Woooo Great Wall woooo!!!

2006-05-27T11:56:00.000+01:00

Hi all,

Couldn’t find the traditional music place, so we did what all self-respecting English tourists do and got trollied. We ended up in a bus that doubles up as a bar partying with a load of people from Green peace. They were all a bit hippy and thrashed us at pool (I Know we lost at pool to a bunch of Whale lovers!) but it was a good nite and we met a chinese guy that new most of the England team from Italia 90 “Stewer Peers” included!

Next day we were supposed to go to the Summer palace, but our hangovers stopped us from leaving the room until 2 so instead we went to a shopping mall, watched another really boring flag ceremony at Tianamien (sp!) square (no more flags) and saw the Da Vinci Code, unfortunately all the French bits were subtitled in Chinese.

So, we finally got to the summer palace. It was alright, looked a bit like Chessington World of Adventure’s China world where it had all been rebuilt recently, pay attention class; this was because in the 1860s the Anglo-French forces burnt the entire place down. But, it was a nice way to spend a day! We also went for a meal with the Kung Fu geeks (one looks like Forest Gump during the running part of the film the other is just a bit geeky).

The next day, we finally saw the Great Wall, which was massive. We went with two Sweedish girls Linnea and Elsa, and a guy called Vimto, who knows a lot about prostitutes. The wall was one of the best things we’ve seen so far, much better than the Taj and equal to Everest, also it had a zip line to get back down, which made the experience even better. All round a fantastic day ‘We went up we came down’ as one of the hawkers kept telling us!

Since then, we’ve seen Chairman Meow’s pickled remains, which was a bit odd as they had used an orange light to highlight his head. However, the light had the effect of making him look like he’d spent a bit too long in tanning saloons. We’ve also seen the Forbidden City – sounds more exciting than it is – and been to the ancient walled city of Pingua (or something like that), which had a very nice wall (but not as nice as the great wall, which is probably why it’s not called the great wall of Pingua, I’m rambling aren’t I, in fact I doubt anyone is still reading this. Garlen says I’m like Steve Davis, the snooker player famed for being boring, but I don’t think I am. Anyway, Steve Davis can be quite funny I think!) errr to continue – blah blah blah train blah blah blah Xi’an and that’s it so take care and we’ll see you all next time
Damian xxx

beijing - before and after

2006-05-27T09:38:00.000+01:00

1) us outside the 'gates of heavenly peace' with the chairman
2) us later that night drunk in a taxi

the wall - its great!

2006-05-27T09:15:00.000+01:00

her
1) garlen, linnea, vinko, damo, elsa - on the great wall!
2) me pretending to be scared on the great wall zip line
3) a far away dame - krypton factor eat your heart out
4) dame finally receiving his new debit card in xian, he can stop poncing money off me now! thank you christine for your frog book!

Goat...again

2006-05-20T11:27:00.000+01:00

One last picture of the goat just because it's brilliant

Raaarrrrr

2006-05-20T11:25:00.000+01:00

Me on a Ghost walk, it was really bad, but Garlen was petrified... he kept saying someone was going to jump out on us... they didn't.

Train

2006-05-20T11:19:00.000+01:00

Garlen on our luxury 45 hour train journey

The Silk Road

2006-05-20T11:15:00.000+01:00

Garlen on a bus on the silk road

Chinese Border

2006-05-20T11:13:00.000+01:00

Border crossing, looks like a town in the wildwest... it isn't.

Nice view

2006-05-20T11:10:00.000+01:00

Us walking along the Karakoram highway just after Garlen almost fell down the side of the hill

2006-05-20T11:07:00.000+01:00

Us at the Fort in Pakistan where people kept trying to talk to us

Goat

2006-05-20T11:03:00.000+01:00

The Goat seemed a bit scared and confused as it was hoisted onto the roof of our bus, but the view was amazing.

Border

2006-05-20T10:54:00.000+01:00

Us crossing the border to Pakistan (I don't know what's wrong with my eye)

chiarman mao

2006-05-20T10:26:00.001+01:00

allo. we found out we can publish blogs but we cant view the site whilst in china as the communists have blocked it - thank you chairman mao. dame will attempt to put photos on but he's up againt it as everything is in chinese - thank you chairman mao.

anyway, after a 45 hour train journey we arrived in beijing at 5 and half hours ago. in that time we found our pleasant youth hostel, had lunch for 50p in nice, small little restaurant and have checked our email. so thats that.

not much else to say really. in the last place we stayed dame stayed up till 3am to watch arsenal lose in the champs league final. i fell asleep as it was... well, boring, boring arsenal, plus that night i got drunk with some chinese guys who kept feeding me tsingtao beer, and then they paid for me. very nice guys. apparantly manderin-chinese for cheers is 'horseshit'. at least thats what they told me and thats what i shouted out every time we clincked out glasses.

so yeah, tomorow we will explore beijing. but in a couple of ours we will go and watch some traditional chinese musical performance in a book shop with these kung fu obssessed guys from england that we are sharing our dorm with. dame and i are a bit scared of them... thank you chairman mao.

China... at last

2006-05-14T15:50:00.000+01:00

Hey Everybody,

This is going to be a really long post. Sorry.

We left Delhi just over a week and a half ago after many more stops at fast food restaurants (KFC wins hands down) and boarded a train to Amristar. On the train I got harassed by two lady boys (It’s a form of begging in India for Lady Boys to patrol trains or show up at weddings and threaten to flash people unless they give them money) which scared me quite a bit. They didn’t seem to be falling for my playing dumb routine, but luckily a ticket inspector showed up just in time as I’m not quite sure of the etiquette when it comes to hitting a lady boy – there’s two schools of thought on the subject.

At Amristar we watched the closing of the border ceremony where a load of Indian and Pakistani soldiers ponce about in uniforms while a crowd of people chant stuff (imagine five year old kids copying the changing of the guards ceremony in clothes made by their mums while there mates scream stuff). We then spent the night in what we thought was a disused school cum hotel until we were woken by cricket playing kids at 7am.

At first we found Pakistan very intimidating mainly because as soon as we entered the place we were told to ‘come with us’ by the police – it turned out they wanted to practice English. Oh and because Lunchbox somehow managed to smuggle a bottle of vodka into the place.

We then spent two very hot nights and days in a city called Lahore where we watched an authentic Pakistani music and dance show. This basically involved a little Pakistani dancing guy with bells on his ankles force a Dutch girl (who looked strangely like Neal Fleah from Uni) to dance (or be groped) with (or by) him. But in the end we were all up and dancing, even me despite not having anything to drink. We also saw, for a change, wait for it…a fort, a museum and a temple. Gasp. The museum was alright but the other two were poor and it was too hot (40). We also got harassed by locals wanting to practice their English. One guy even threatened to cry and get down on his hands and knees unless we sat with him and talked… weird.

We then got a train to the start of the Karakoram highway (a road going from Pak to China through three mountain ranges… if you’re interested… probably not). On board Garlen managed to offend locals and a gun wielding policeman by showing to much leg, the little harlot, and was forced to put on trousers. We then spent two days traveling to Giligit. On the way I think I may have got deep vein thrombosis as my ankles went massive like an old ladies. In Gilgit we watched a game of Polo, which is really dangerous as the ball is solid and regularly flies into the crowd, and then left for Karimibad. On the bus there we were left shocked when some locals hoisted a goat onto the roof of our bus and strapped it down for the entire journey. We sat in the bus watching the whole thing unfold in disbelief, but it seemed happy up there and it did have a good view.

In Karimibad we went trekking to see a mountain called Lady Finger (we had to go, any mountain that sounds like a bond villain is worth seeing) Why we went trekking again I don’t know, it was tiring and Garlen almost fell down the side of a hill as we didn’t have a clue where we were going and kept getting lost and finding ourselves starring over sheer drops.

Anyway… skip to the end… we’re in China, views along the way were amazing, Come on the Gooners, Garlen had brain Masala (tastes like pate in case you were wondering), Garlen's Cantonese is useless, no-one can understand a word he says (mainly because they speak Mandarin), and that's it.

Bye, Damo

Cheeky

2006-05-03T11:02:00.000+01:00

Us outside the Red Fort. Looks impressive from the outside, but inside, as Garlen put it, it's just a big market.

Indian Parliment

2006-05-03T10:50:00.000+01:00

Who's that good looking chap outside the President's abode and Indian Parliment?

Oh, I Say!

2006-05-03T10:36:00.000+01:00

Us outside the India Gate, an Indian version of the Arc de Triumphe.
Don't ask what Garlen is up to. Or me for that matter. Nav's going to have hours of fun thinking of jokes for this pic, he'll probably need a note pad to write them all down.

Well done to the second best team in England.

2006-05-03T10:27:00.000+01:00

Despite supporting Arsenal - well done Chelsea! You have to congratulate the smaller teams when they win something. You never know with a bit of luck one day they might reach the dizy heights of the Champions League final too.

Lo, you've forgotten you kit again!

2006-05-03T10:17:00.000+01:00

Us at Ghandi's Ghat, Garlen of course sporting his P.E style vest. I've been trying to convince him to get some plimsols to go with it but he refuses. However, he has started doing star jumps each night wearing just his pants, apparantly that's how his teacher made them do it!

what did the pink panther say when it stepped on the ant? deadant-deadant, deadant, deadant-deadant-deadant-deadant, deadaaant...

2006-05-02T13:54:00.000+01:00

hey all

dont usually blog till thursday but am bored and its too hot to sit in our prison of a room. since the last post we have attained our chinese visas and are awaiting our pakistani ones. its been much, much hassle - flling forms written only in hindi, purchasing bankers drafts from unhelpful bankers, standing in chaotic indian q's, getting photos done in a proper photographic studio, forgetting to bring photos to the embassy, haggling with rickshaw drivers, lending pens, stealing pens, running to atm's b4 the embassy closes, waiting outside closed embassies, paying the uk embassy 50 pounds for A LETTER stamping our approval to enter pakistan, reading notes advised by the uk embassy detailing all the terrorist activity in pakistan, getting scared - but we're used to it now.

apart from visa stuff what have we done since we arrived in delhi? we went to see a few of delhi's main tourist attractions - there were two grand forts - both were crap. one turned out to be a disguised market and the other one a run down park. also saw gandhi's eternal flame where his ashes are scattered. bit crap aswell. infact the best thing about delhi is its choice of western fast food outlets. mcdougals, kfc, pizza hut, dominoes, tgi's, and wait for it... wimpy. also i bought ANOTHER pair of sunnies. my 4th pair this trip. they're big and white and rock n roll baby!!! also bought a vest which dame keeps giving me funny looks for. all the indians wear'em! he says im too skinny to be wearing vests. also bought a white top from none other than benneton. it cost 2000 rupees which is the equivilant of living out here for a week, but it does look wicked!

we're now simply waiting for our visa to process and dames new credit card to come through b4 we leave for pakistan. today we killed time by going to the multiplex cinema and watching the pink panther with steve martin. it was mildly amusing but the indians thought it was hee-lar-rious. i was laughing at the indians laughing at crap western humour.

i cant believe its taken me so long to mention that WE'RE CHAMPIONS , AGAIN. we watched it in a pub drinking draught kingfisher whilst a waiter fed us unlimited free crisps and nuts. it was amazing. what else. damian got a bit ill again yesterday. we think part sun, part dodgy stomoach, part me giving him my cold. but he seems to be better now.

dame and i finished our books last night. mine being the wasp factory' by ian banks, and his 'henry V' by shakey. my book was excellant, but dame cheated on his by flicking through pages justifying it by saying he 'got the gist of it'. we've both really got into reading recently (which is just as well as we both wanna become writers!) and both about to start our bill brysons. dames being ' the short history of nearly everything' and mine being 'notes from a small island.'

anyway probably boring you know, gonna go b4 we get another electrity cut and lose all this, and then ill get very angry and shout at some poor innocent guy and blame him for all the reasons the world is crap.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Escape from Kathmandu

2006-04-27T16:24:00.000+01:00

Alrighty,

We finally managed to leave Nepal, Yay. Although, the day before we were supposed to leave the strikes and curfews ended meaning if our patients had held out a bit longer we could have saved ourselves $70. But, on the bright side we didn’t have to use Indian transport and the flight food was the best I’ve ever had.

We did also find a way to make our last few days in Kathmandu fly by – get drunk with a Chilean called Christian (We met him in India and ended up spending our last five nights sharing a room, he also looks a lot like Peter Shilton circa Italia 90) Jo the girl we traveled with in India, a scarily crazy Aussie woman (one night she actually climbed under Garlen’s bed sheets and just sat there) called something weird and a guy from the UK called Peter.

The only downside to getting drunk on cheap Vodka from the mystical land of Ruslan was that I lost my debit card, so we’re now stuck in Delhi (40 degrees, very busy and over crowded. Although, it does have a KFC where we spent a large part of today consuming a family feast) waiting for my card and our Pakistan Visas. Incidentally, the Visas require a letter which will cost 50 quid from the British High Council, 50 quid for a letter, whinge, whinge, etc, etc!

I would, before I end this post, like to apologize for the level of abuse that came out of my mouth when the bar tender at Tom and Jerrys decided to turn the Arsenal – Villarreal match off at half time. I hope your country does keep democracy and that the king doesn’t regain power. Down with the King! Oh and I’d also like to thank the Sandwich bar round the corner for showing the second half.

damo

wenger, friends and protests

2006-04-27T16:19:00.000+01:00

dame just had to take a picture when he saw arsene's side project - he owns a bakery on delhi. the other pic is of our last dinner in katmandu. left to right: spanish girl whose name i forget, ramsbury jo who we met up with again, legend from colindale, chilean cristian the mountaineer, some dude from folkstone, aussie zsa, and peter from crawley (crawley has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in england apparantly; and no he doesnt know you des). the last pic is of some kids in the riot.

prisoners on holiday

2006-04-21T13:42:00.000+01:00

hi everybody, since climbing the big mountain we've been stuck in katmandu for the past few days. due to strikes and nepali citizens curfew - calling for the resignation of the eviillll king and a wish for democracy - katmandu has become a ghost town but for the few sneaky places like this very internet cafe im in now. the army patrol every corner of every street armed with machine guns and batons... 'no sudden movements damo'.

theres only so much time killing to be done b4 we get bored senseless (we played chess in a bookshop yesterday - i won ;)), so we have decided to bite the bullit and pay for a 100 US dollar flight to delhi rather than to wait for the eviillll king to do the honourable thing. shame, cause a coach into delhi would have only cost around 10 US dollars. if anybody feels sorry fo us they can make charitable donations to the garlen and damian fund at: makethiertriplastlonger@hotmail.com

so thats, that. we will book our flights tonight and should hopefully be in delhi this time tomorow. by the way, the army think im nepalese and keep telling me to go indoors: 'IM ENGLISH', i keep protesting. also, ive shaved that tache off now. thank god. thank gillette.

Indian Team

2006-04-21T11:51:00.000+01:00

The Indian team planning to climb everest at the base camp fed us tea and biscuits. Which was nice. (i put the italics on by accident and don't know how to turn them off)

Base Camp

2006-04-21T11:44:00.000+01:00

Those yellow dots behind us are Everest Base Camp. And the guy next to us is a Ray Ban wearing Monk.

3.3 mile high club

2006-04-21T11:37:00.000+01:00

Our first glimpse of Everest (the black looking one in the middle), well actually we had been walking for half an hour with it in sight we just didn't realise until somebody pointed it out to us.

The Himalyas

2006-04-21T11:30:00.000+01:00

A big thank you to Barry and Shelby (far right and left) without whom we would probably still be looking for the biggest mountain in the world and suffering headaches from the mountain sickness.

We have to walk that?

2006-04-21T11:20:00.000+01:00

Garlen: "I just over heard some guy say we have to walk through that valley for 8 days before we get to Everest."

Damian: "Don't be silly, he must have been havimg a laugth, ha ha."

Getting lost is easy!

2006-04-21T11:16:00.000+01:00

Right which way is it again?

A plan is hatched

2006-04-21T11:01:00.000+01:00

If only she had warned us it wasn't as easy as 'Walking to the shops'

'which ones everest dame?' 'dunno mate'

2006-04-18T13:33:00.000+01:00

we're back. alive and just about kicking. it was the hardest 10 days we've ever spent in our lives.

in our first 8 days going up mountains and down valleys we battled: high altitude headaches, severe breathing difficulties, aching shoulders from our backpacks, blisters, chaffing on our thighs, trekking when its too hot, sleeping when its too cold, sunburn on our faces (we look like unwashed pandas), smelly feet, smelly armpits, greasy hair (the water was too freezing to wash with - though damian tried once and never again), a poor diet of biscuits and hard dry noodles (noodles eaten straight from the pack), uncontrallable bouts of mad laughter (mainly from me - imagine steve buscemi in armagedon), and of course massive physical exertion and fatigue.

was it worth it? of course it bleedin was. when we reached the optimal peak of the trek (called kala pattar) we celebrated by eating biscuits and dry noodles and busting out the ipod. 'thats entertainment' indeed. we were also fortunate enough to be invited to the bass camp tent of the indian everest excurtion team - called borders security force. we enjoyed tea and biscuits with them! we also met some other really nice trekkers who helped us two debutants, and we certainly wouldnt have had as much fun without them. barry and shelby - absolute massive thanks, a pair of 'namche bazaars' (thats cockney nepal rhyming slang for 'stars').

anyway it took us only 2 days to trek back where we started. and now we're both still recovering from our everest adventure in katmandu. we planned to leave nepal by coach back into india but with the strikes it seems the only way out of here is by plane. so we are currently at a crosswords as to whether to wait till the strikes over (somebody told us it will be over when they get democracy - which could be anytime!) or fly to either india, pakistan or china.

so, thats about it for this week, things are hotting up in dan browns deception point and villereal look odds on to knock 'the arse' of the big eared cup. better ring my mum now.

garl xox

ps. finally got my police report for my stolen bag, phew...

pss. pics later, patience boys and girls...

Go Go Gunner Gooners Bang Bang

2006-04-06T14:10:00.000+01:00

Hi,

Just a quick post to say we'll be missing for the next 15 days as we have decided to walk to Everest Base camp from the Nepal side. We go halfway by plane (about 1 hour flight) and then walk the rest, may be a bad decision as we are not fans of walking; Garlen got a stich walking back to the Hotel after dinner last night and I'm no better.

Apart from that we haven't done much, just sorting out flights, trying to get a police report for Garlen's insurance and deciding on the best way into China (we've opted for the Pakistan route). We did meet Julika from Uni and rent bikes to go and see some temples and stuff on Tuesday but that's about it.

See you in 15 days, take care

Damo

P.S Great results for Arsenal recently eh... I'll settle for the Champions League this year!

Kathmandu Dogmandont

2006-04-01T18:17:00.000+01:00

Namaste
Hope everyone is okay. Don't really know where to begin as we have done quite a bit since the last post.

Cricket was really good even though England lost. We luckily managed to get our tickets upgraded to executive and watched the game from sofas while waiters bought us free food and drink. It can be really hard this travelling lark. We also managed to sneak past security and straight into the press conference.

The game was in a place called Jaipur. It wasn't really nice there as it was polluted and all the sites were just poor versions of other places we had been. We did however learn not to take pity on cycle rickshaw drivers and go for the poorest looking one. They (and this is said in hindsight) don't seem to have a well balanced diet and because of this their fitness levels aren't up to much making your journey take the time it should.

We also went to Agra and saw the Taj Mahal, which was nice. I thought it was one of the most amazing man made things I had ever seen and could have stared at it for hours. Garlen wasn't so impressed and described it as a little room.

After that we went to the river Ganges; one of the holiest places in the Hindu faith and also one of the most polluted rivers in the world. It was weird seeing dead bodies (the first I have ever seen) being taken to the river side put in wood rafts, set alight and pushed out while other people jump in to wash away their sins. I sort of lost some respect for the hindu faith there as Garlen told me had seen the raft bearers joking and messing about as they went about burning the bodies. We also watched the A-team in our hotel and I washed a 700 rupee train ticket in my shorts. Garlen looks after the tickets now.

We've left our fellow traveler Jo (From Ramsbury not Swindon) now, it was really cool having another person to talk to for the last 3 weeks, changed the group dynamics and meant I didn't have to listen to Garlen going on about; Chelsea, the oragami chicken and his bad/awful Ewan Mcgreggor impression (only kiding Garlen I love you really) but we'll miss Jo. Cue tears.

After the Ganges we left for Nepal, but on the way, while sitting at a road side Cafe, Garlen had a bag stolen with loads of expensive stuff in it, including most of his clothes (I haven't noticed him smelling more despite him wearing the same top since, but then he always has had a strange smell about him). He also lost some jeans which he seems to have a strange emotional connection to.

It was quite a weird journey really; the change in climate and landscape was dramatic and sudden as was change in people's faces and attiutdes to tourists. Also, our coach owner kept trying to start fights with people, one on Garlens behalf as he searched for culprits. The most annoying thing about the theft was the loss of the video diary we had been making. Memories, water colour, memories in the corner of our minds. Oh and a tyre blew up.

This place is a bit pollitically unstable at the moment - something to do with Maoist rebels, a king that is really a dictator and a fixed election - so there are lots of soilders with guns, one brushed against me, but only the butt so don't worry mum.
We're in Kathmandu at the moment making plans to go to Mount Everest Base Camp and then into Tibet, which will be fun.

But anyway take and we'll post again soon (sorry if this post makes no sense but I've only had about 3 hours sleep over the past 35 hours)

Damo

river gunge

2006-04-01T18:11:00.000+01:00

'la la la, la la la, river ganges
something , something, lemonade
la la la, la la la, bunch of tourists
something, something, something, all up into space'

albarn/lo composition 2006

todge more hall

2006-04-01T17:57:00.001+01:00

dame: er, garlen, whose this person that keeps following us and saboutaging our pictures?

garl: i dunno but its bleedin cold! wheres my gloves when i need 'em?

stranger girl: its me jo! the girl who talks alot and who takes ages deciding what to order from very simple menus.

dame and garl: leggit!

todge more hall

2006-04-01T17:57:00.000+01:00

dame: er, garlen, whose this person that keeps following us and saboutaging our pictures?

garl: i dunno but its bleedin cold! wheres my gloves when i need 'em?

stranger girl: its me jo! the girl who talks alot and who takes ages deciding what to order from very simple menus.

dame and garl: leggit!

jiminey-cricket

2006-04-01T17:49:00.000+01:00

goal! er...

camel-flarge

2006-04-01T17:46:00.000+01:00

follow that camel!!!

right poongar! right!

2006-03-23T15:55:00.000Z

went on a 4 day camel safari! slept under the stars and it was like the nightsky had opened up - there were so many stars. saw about 5 shooting stars and we even saw the moon RISE from the horizon! on the down side i got ill on the 2nd and 3rd day which wasnt much fun. we listened to our ipods whilst riding our camels which made the ride all the more surreal - listening to 'let it snow' by dean martin as im was trekking in baking dessert weather. the funniest moment was camel racing whilst 'anarchy in the uk' by the pistols blurted out into my ears and in my perephiveral view i could see damian dropping everything as his camel bobbed up and down.

when we got back from our camel trek i fell ill properly and had the shits. we had to cancel our coach ticket and spend another night here in jaisalmer just sitting on the bed reading our books - i finished my libertines book and dame finished his dan brown 'deception point', which we've now swapped. fortunately after taking some of dames imodiam stuff its put a cork in it. our coach to jaipur leaves in an hour and a half where we will watch england play india in a one day cricket friendly - on my 23rd birthday, woohoo.

thats about it really, oh, good choice of pic dame - biggest turban in the world! haha! as dames still not finished on his comp ill just waffle on. er... oh, damian did this really embarrasing fart in the dessert when telling us this emotional story - it was one of those ones which catches the farter by suprise - haha! on that note...

garl x

ps. my camel was named poongar and kept walking though massive bushes
pps. massive thanks to alana for the songs on the pod, not sure about 'when a child is born' by johnny mathis though. x

cars and world's biggest turban

2006-03-15T13:47:00.000Z

Turtle and Gunner Gooner Bang Bang

2006-03-15T13:43:00.000Z

2nd time of asking

2006-03-15T13:40:00.000Z

tried to blog something last week but their was another bleeding electricty cut just as i was about to publish it. got quiet angry. grrr.

dames in another internet cafe as thier wasnt enough comps at his one. hes probably updating our travel diary. well i hope he is cause ive just been dossing about on the net. if he hasnt heres our dairy highlights in non-boring form: 1) saw some caves 2) went to a utentil museum 3)watched octopussy 4) went on a boat ride 5) missed ther boat back 6) went to a fort 7) no seven.

i hope dames putting pics up aswell. im just getting lazy now.

garlen xox

we're alive

2006-03-10T11:33:00.000Z

Hi,

Just a quick update to let you know we're OK. Useless computers again but hopefully in the next few days we'll find a better Internet place and put some pictures on and Garlen can add a longer update.
Left Mumbai last week and we're now in a place called Udaipur (North of India)at the mo, it's quite cool a riverside town with loads of palaces, temples and winding closed in streets, a bit like venice. We also stopped off on our way here in a town called Aurangabad to visit some near by temples carved into the side of caves.
Have picked at a fellow traveller called, she's from Swindon and is probably going to be with us for the next few weeks.
Has just started thundering and raining here, which actually makes a nice change!
Not suprised to see Arsenal made it through to the next round of the european cup, last english team! It's a burden but we'll have to carry it again.

Take care, Damian

Neptune, Bez and Jason from Big Brother

2006-03-04T13:39:00.000Z

Bonjour,

Sorry for the late update, we slept most of yesterday after a nightmare coach journey but hopefully next week the updates will go back to Thursdays.
I would like to start by responding to Garlen’s vilification of me in his last post. Firstly, the origami chicken, made by Garlen to sound like some sort of lethal weapon, was in fact fashioned by me using a paper napkin from the dinner table. Secondly, how much can a paper napkin in the eye actually hurt? Even if you’ve recently had laser surgery as he keeps reminding me.
Anyway, we’ve basically spent the last week on a beach called Anjuna. It’s quite nice there, but everyone insits on constantly playing trance and Bob Marley, which can get annoying and when you’ve got a hang over isn’t the best way to start your day.
We went to a club on the first night and stayed there till 5am after getting drunk on oversized Vodka drinks. While there we did see Bez from the happy Mondays and Neptune the god of the sea (may have had something to do with the Vodka) oh and they strangely sell eggs at the club.
We also met two Danish girls (Garlen unleashed the Lo charm, they were helpless, oh and I chipped in by asking how you say achoo in Danish. It’s achoo in case you were wondering) who we were supposed to meet the next night but we forgot where.
We did however go to the near by Baga beach (Costa Del Goa) on the following night where we tried the nicest food we have eaten on our trip, it’s called Manchurian cauliflower – basically cauliflower fried in honey sesame seeds and soy sauce. We also went to a hip hop club and got a bit ghetto. We saw another celebrity while there; Scottish Jason from Big Brother, he was on his own I felt a bit sorry for him.
We also bumped into the Danish girls again and ended up watching the sunrise on the beach with them and a few Indian guys we had met. I stupidly left my shoes by the water and lost them to the sea, god rest their souls. (Sorry)
Met the Danish girls again and did the same the next night. Went back to Anjuna got a couple of hours sleep but in the morning the woman landlord kicked us out of our rooms and we moved to near by Vagator beach for a night and stayed with some weird Indian midget bow legged people. Again met Stena and Tania (I think they wanted to go to the club again as they met us all dolled up but instead we took them for a night playing table tennis at a sports bar – a charm offensive no girl could resist – as we are lazy) We stayed up all night again then got a night bus to Bombay (was a bit like being in a tumble dryer with a bunch of sweaty Indians) where we are now.
Spent the day walking around Bombay. The place smells and has loads of beggars, but we’ve learnt how to ignore them. It also has lots of old colonial buildings, so we’re doing the whole culture thing. Tomorrow we’re going to a laughing club – they just sit about chuckling – and going to be extras in a bollywood movie.
Couple of quick last points, Garlen is a good fisherman, we went fishing in pollelm both caught fish but he walked into a restaurant with his and got them to cook it. And I am crap at haggling, I managed to buy some string for a pendant I have at the bargin price of 100 rupees or 77p. It took me twenty minutes to get the price that low.
No pictures this week as the computers here are all useless!

a brief hello

2006-03-04T13:21:00.000Z

hello - the internet in this place is so slow. not even worth trying to upload pics. dame has taken care of this weeks report. hope he mentioned my fish. speaking of fish. we went to mcdonalds in bombay. i had a fillet o fish but over here they call it 'le fillet o fish', they dont really. damian got some massive curry burger thing.

des - your story bout u and your safety badge after being told ur brother was born. haha. come to asia scrooge mcdes. shitty about ur card, how they do that?
alana - u bully! heard shes got bad kidneys too now! oh, and ive gone and scratched my new red 'ray bans' which means im now gonna have to haggle for another pair of specs!

bye for now, garlen.

'chicken! chicken! buck! buck!'

2006-02-24T13:28:00.000Z

friday 24 feb '06.

a day late with the update as damo was being a girl and got sick on me, meaning we had to stay an extra night in Panaji whilst dame slept it off. we did watch rambo 3 though. quality.

since the last post we carried on bumming on the beach in Palalom - where i lost my bloc party orange glasses! i jumped into the sea and when i arose they vanished from my face - doh! have purchased some new red ones which you can see in future photos (some of the photos we added tonight are old ones). i also lost my pink hat! dammit!

from Palalom beach we went to Old Goa and looked at some portugese catholic churches, then moved on to Panaji, Goa's captal, where dame got sick. and he picks hes moments. we're on a casino cruise ship with unlimited drinks and buffet and ten minutes in he says hes not feeling well. then all of a sudden he gets up and rushes of to the bog. by the time hes comes back ive downed a couple of cocktails and he declares hes got runny poo (sorry, cant spell diahoare, see) and he wants to get of the ship. well he cant cause the ships taken off so we wait an hour or so before a little boat comes and carries him away. i stay on (of course - i did ask him! c'mon it was free drinks all night!) and consume the fine all-you-can-eat and drink experience. i then win my entrance fee back playing blackjack - 1400 rupees - thats about 20 pounds and a shedload of money in india. then went home and watched the chelsea barcalona game. cant win 'em all.

the day after damian slept in all day whilst i had a wander around town. i found the most crappest pub in the whole of india, no, the world. it could seat about 20 people if you crammed them all in. and it had tinted windows so there was viturally no light (they were scrimping on the electricity). stayed in and watched rambo 3 that night. US hero stallone kills russians to free afghanistan. how times have changed.

this morning dame felt better so we got on the bus and are now in Anjuna beach. we plan to do more bumming around here and Aranbol beach for around a week before we head to Bombay.

garlen xox

ps. i forgot to mention damian almost blinded me for life by poking a fucking oragami chicken into my left eye whilst shouting 'chicken! chicken! buck! buck!'. he thought it was the funniest thing ever. i nearly smacked him. i can laff at it now but at the time i was well angry with him!

also had my hair cut by dame. the styles kinda like david bowie circa ziggy stardust without the mullet. and also generally crapper. but it'll do as long as i put suntan lotion on it so it doesnt poof up (nice one des for that bit of advice). just wait till its my turn to cut his hair - im kinda thinking krusty the clown...

far away dame and garlens mozzied legs

2006-02-24T13:17:00.000Z

bollywood star and sexy damo

2006-02-24T13:11:00.000Z

went to the park, saw a bollywood film being made, got my photo done with the main guy. he told me he was really famous. no one else knew who he was though! liar!

pesky kids and royal bed

2006-02-24T13:07:00.000Z

st francis and the moon

2006-02-24T13:02:00.000Z

bull

2006-02-16T16:06:00.000Z

goody baddie + Umesh

2006-02-16T15:57:00.000Z

kovalm + Ralph

2006-02-16T15:51:00.000Z

Pollam

2006-02-16T15:44:00.000Z

My Arse Hurts

2006-02-16T15:14:00.000Z

Bonjour,

Have finally got our guitars, Yay. through them we have learnt the art of Kabadi (a sort of indian Tag game) and entertained a few indian hotel owners (Well I think they were entertained). It's been a sort of cultral exchange. We showed this guy at a train station (we had to wait 8 hours) how to play British Bulldog and how to play guitar he showed us Kabadi and fed us bannanas. And then we played Guitar for the hotel owners and they showed us a hindu dance (was a bit weird to be honest).
(For those who I have e-mailed you will prob have read the next bit so skip and start again where I have put the astrix)

We also did our eight hour river cruise, was good fun, I felt like I was in Vietnam, I was tempted to wear a red head scarf and go by the name of John Rambo but decided against it. Then we stayed the night in a really nasty town - Kollam, we walked about in the day and had beggars coming at us like zombies, they waddled towards us making weird noises with out streched hands, we just Ignored them, its for the best. I did give one beggar kid some bread today as he was hasseling us at our table, but then he just started pointing at the jam, greedy blighter!

We also had our first night train experience, was loud dirty with squat toilets, a kid screamed for about an hour at six in the morning, it got mildly frustrating to say the least.

To get to the beach we're at now it took three days and we used four different types of transport; Train (14 hours + 8 hours waiting), Rickshaw, Bus and Boat (8 Hours) was a fantastic experience, our first real taste of what travelling is about! But I have realised what the UK is great for; comfy seats.

We're in Goa now (pollamlum), it's really relaxed here. Beer is cheap and everyone is really chilled, sort of like the Amsterdame of Indian (not quite as crazy as there is no real night life here, it's too hot to dance so everyone just sits in resturants talking) Palm trees behing islands coming out of the main land, golden sand etc.

***************************************************** Read again:
On our first night we went to a resturant run by a guy that looked like the football hardman, Razor Ruddock, he stubbed his fag out in our ashtray, gave our candle light away (as it was valentines day we were a bit upset) and looked menacingly at anyone who didn't clap at the act.

- The Act.
Elvis and Cliff, not Prestliey and Richards but two indian kids on keyboard and bass playing covers of songs in a thirties seaside sort of way. Imagine our confusion when they did Stevie Wonder; I just called to say I love Ye (Ye wasn't a typing error) in a sort of Pheonix Nights Pub keyboard singer style. But we felt we had to clap as Ruddock was standing in front of us watching us from his beady eyes.

Oh we bumped into Ralph the German again. He wasn't in his speedos this time. But that's the last three beach resorts we seen him at now, I think he might be following us! Scary I know!

As i'm typing James Blunt is playing so before I go completely Mad I'll say goodbye. (sorry for spelling and grammar we're on a time limit, there is no word and I don't have time - or I can't be bothered you decide - to sub).

Laterz

sit back and think of goa

2006-02-16T14:55:00.000Z

hello england.

damian has the honours of updating our diary this evening, which gives me the chance to write random stuff. ok... thanks to everybody who emailed or wrote in the comments box. its really nice to hear from friends and family after our first two weeks of travel. it feels like we've been away forever. as we cant get such quality material as 'the news of the world' over here in india we really are closed off from the going-ons in england. so keep us informed. cheers seany for your email - 'campbell may be batty' made me laff out loud in the quiet internet cafe.

we've set aside thursday evening (when possible) as our internet time whilst on our travels so hopefully you guys and gals will follow our journey with us.

what else - happy belated valentines day to everybody. any goss u wanna tell (u can email me in private ;))? dame and i had the most surreal experience over our valentines dinner. it involved neil 'razor' ruddock (he's a footballer for the uneducated) and a casio keyboard. im sure dame will go into more detail.

ok - personals section (ooooh!).
to borders people - everybody happy? anyone else left?
my cousin in hong kong - thanks for your comment, how did u find this site? i will email u and maybe you can show dame and i round hong kong!
pauline and john - thanks for the dosh AGAIN!
alana - dames much prettier than seany! sorry seany! love you really. though u do have bigger boobs sean. always a plus in my book.
sophs - hows japan? and the teaching?
hannah s - u still in nairobi? hows yours furs? (funny everytime... maybe!)
simon d - well done on getting ur band together finally. how dyou sort that out. next step?
uj - 'make believe' on the radio! do i get royalties or what? haha! tell andy i played cricket on the beach with a bunch of indians. they take thier cricket very seriously. found out im not a bad mid paced bowler. and i took the most amazing catch (on the back foot, streching into the heavens and falling back into sea, then rising like a phoenix with ball clutched firmly in hand - stuff of legends)

garlen xox